


And Winter Disappeared

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: F/M, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-09
Updated: 1999-05-09
Packaged: 2018-11-10 18:01:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11131974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Benton Fraser falls in love over hot chocolate with a Victoria lookalike. Will this romance end the same way?





	And Winter Disappeared

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

 

... And Winter Disappeared

#  ...And Winter Disappeared

**M/F romance, rated R/NC-17 - for mature readers only!**

* * *

Standard disclaimers: All characters in this story, with the exception of Nina, are property of the folks who created "dueSouth", and it's their own fault I'm borrowing them for this little adventure - they made 'em too durned interesting and down-right fun to ignore! I'm not making any money off this, Lord knows, and it's all in the name of good clean fun, so I hope they don't sue me. ; ) 

For anyone who has a problem with the intimate details of sex between two loving partners, this carries an R/NC-17 rating for m/f, ah, interaction, as well and a teensy bit of strong language (not much - Fraser wouldn't let me). Feel free to either delete it now or simply stop before the second section or so of Part Three, and the second section of Part Four. : ) 

My thanks to the creators of dueSouth for providing such a wonderful playground, and the actors for such delightful characters. Also, my "Sis", Monica, for getting me into "dS" again, and Meredith Brooks, Graeme Revell, and several other artists for giving me such great and Muse-inspiring music. 

Opinions, feedback and chocolates can be sent to me at. I'd also be happy to provide anyone who wants it with the .wps version of this piece, with all the pretty fonts. : ) 

Peace!! 

* * *

#  ...And Winter Disappeared

by Mary Grace Macy

****** 

###  Part One: Nina and Benton

Blame it on the Mountie. My schedule changed as soon as he showed up  
\- or *I* showed up, depending on how you look at it. He was at the Consulate  
before I moved to this part of town.

It was mid-November, it was maybe 20 degrees Fahrenheit, and I get to the office for my first day of work and see this Mountie standing sentry at the Canadian Consulate, the breath from his mouth making clouds around him, his face unmoving. And it wasn't from being literally frozen. I marveled at the sight for a moment, then went in to work. When I came out for my lunch break four hours later, he was still standing there. I mean, that's not human! Not just to make a man stand in the freezing cold Chicago winter air for four hours, but for said man to look perfectly at ease with it. Simply not human. I told him as much, crossing the street to say hello and receiving a smile two minutes later when his shift ended and he could respond. Of course this was after four days of observing and working up enough courage to actually do it. 

I looked up into the bluest pair of eyes I'd ever seen and smiled, knowing from observation that his shift ended soon. "You must be freezing!" I said sympathetically. And received not so much as flicker of response. Right, I told myself; sentry-duty like the guys at Buckingham Palace. I glanced at my watch and saw there was a grand total of about two minutes and 3 seconds until his shift ended. I was impressed. 

"Well, I don't know about you," I continued blithely, "but I don't really think it's the right weather or time for coffee, so how about some hot chocolate?" Still nothing. "One blink for yes, two blinks for no." There was a long pause, then, almost as if it was against his will, he blinked. "Was that a yes blink or a natural blink?" I asked. Nothing, then those incredible eyes shifted a fraction towards me and I smiled. "I'll take that to mean it was the former," I chuckled. "Okay! Be right back!" 

I ran across the street to the deli and bought a cup of hot cocoa, with marshmallows, and then ran back. (Well, I couldn't very well let him freeze his red-uniform-clad tukus off, now could I? And don't give me that look! The fact that it's a very nice tukus, whether clad in a red uniform or not, had nothing to do with it!) 

My timing couldn't have been better if I had tried. He stepped out of parade rest, took the offered cup with a smile and said, "Thank you kindly, ma'am." 

I laughed. "I think I'm a little young to be a *ma'am*," I told him, watching as he blew on the hot liquid and then took a cautious sip. I could almost see the color returning to his face. "And it's no problem. I've seen you freezing for four days now; my maternal instincts have been screaming at me like crazy." 

He smiled, his eyes dancing. "I appreciate it. It is a bit chilly." 

I stared at him. "Chilly?" I echoed in disbelief. "Good lord, you really are from way up North, aren't you?" 

"Yes, ma' - ah, miss." Then his teeth chattered a bit and a faint flush rose to his cheeks. 

I laughed, caught by the ridiculousness of it. "Nina," I introduced myself. "Would you like to go inside?" I raised an eyebrow and added impishly, "It's a bit chilly out here." 

He chuckled. "Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police," he returned. "And yes - I do have to sign out." 

I decided then and there to talk to whoever it was who was in charge of assigning people to four-hour shifts in freezing weather. I followed him inside the Consulate and waited for him to sign out, then shook my head as the next unlucky Mountie took his place outside. "Next time I'm bringing two cups of cocoa," I determined out-loud, not quite aware I had said it until Benton gave me a strange look. "What?" I asked him as we headed back outdoors. 

Benton just shook his head and smiled. "Nothing," he answered, holding the door open for me. I shivered as the cold air hit me. I have never gotten used to Chicago winters, and I've lived here all my life. "Would you rather stay indoors?" 

I shook my head, my teeth already chattering. "I'm on my lunch- break. If I go indoors, it's going to be to that nice deli across the street." I looked at him and he looked back, both of us a little uncertain. "Ah, would you like to join me?" 

He smiled. "I would," he said. "If you wouldn't mind." 

I chuckled. "If I minded, I wouldn't have asked," I pointed out. He blushed again and gave me a slightly sheepish smile. It was replaced by a courteous one when we got inside the deli and he helped me with my coat, automatically, as if it were natural. Maybe it was; from what I'd heard from the deli-owner and a few people at the office, he seemed to be that kind of guy. Then he took off his own coat, and his Stetson, and I had to stop myself from gaping. 

I don't know how or why, but somehow I had thought that he seemed so tall and broad-shouldered because of the coat and hat. It wasn't. He was. His hair was thick and coal-black, striking contrast to his pale skin with cold-reddened cheeks and, of course, those so-blue eyes. He was, in a word, incredible. And sitting there across from me, chafing his hands a bit to warm them, he seemed a lot more real. I suddenly found myself wondering just what the hell I was doing. 

*** 

What the hell was I doing? 

I sat across the table from her, and caught her gaze, and I felt as if I was waking up from a dream. It was a most peculiar sensation, because it seemed what I was waking to was an even better dream. 

Her cheeks were flushed from the cold air, her eyes deep chocolate brown, sparkling at me in silent laughter. Brown hair almost as dark as her eyes, subtly streaked with paler shades (what did Francesca call it? 'Frosting'? Whatever it was, it looked lovely on her), fell around her face and shoulders in loose curls, one lock falling halfway into her eyes. I almost reached out to brush it away before I realized what I was doing, and firmly settled my hands in my lap. It suddenly hit me that Nina looked a lot like Victoria, and yet nothing like her at all. I tried to decide why that was and realized that it was the laughter, the warmth, I saw in her eyes. I found myself smiling without knowing why. 

And I was still wondering what I was doing. 

I had vaguely noticed her for the past few days, a glimpse now and then through the crowds, but as soon as I saw her crossing the street towards me I knew exactly who she was. And when she stopped in front of me, looking like a china-doll all bundled up in the large black coat, and smiled, I had to fight incredibly hard not to return the expression. Harder than when school-children dropped spitballs on my boots or a woman had to drag her dog away, convincing it in barely enough time that I wasn't a fire-hydrant. Those occasions were child's-play compared to the challenge of not responding to her smile. "One blink for yes, two blinks for no," she had said, and I had almost, *almost!*, laughed. And then, when she told me her name, the first thought to cross my mind was that Nina was the most beautiful name I'd ever heard. 

I was glad Ray wasn't here now. He'd be laughing himself to death. 

"So," she said now, her gaze - was I totally misreading? She couldn't possibly be...shy? And a little nervous? Well, certainly not as nervous as I was! 

"So," I echoed, wondering what to say. 

Nina laughed suddenly, a ripple of sound that chased away every doubt as she abruptly said, "How on earth did a Mountie land in Chicago?!" 

*** 

Oh god. *Tell* me I did *not* just say that!! 

*** 

I laughed, taken by surprise and relieved to have been given a guideline for what to say. It wasn't until much later, when she actually told me, that I recalled seeing the faint flush that crept up her cheeks after she said it. Just then, I was too busy telling her *exactly* how I had 'landed' in Chicago. 

Her eyes stayed fixed on my face throughout the story, and she surprised me again when tears shone in her eyes as I told her about my father's death. She laid a hand on top of mine on the table. "I'm so sorry," she said, squeezing my hand, and I was startled, and warmed, by the genuine sympathy in her eyes. She saw my expression and misread; she frowned and hastily started to draw her hand away. "I'm sorry," she said softly, apologizing for her 'lapse', I realized. 

Without thinking, I turned my hand and grabbed hers, stopping her. "No!" I blurted. "It's not - it's just that - well - I'm not used to \- well - that is -" 

With a slow smile, she rescued me. "To Americans being nice?" she supplied. 

I blushed, ashamed at my lack of manners. I started to apologize and she laughed, shaking her head. "I was born and raised in Chicago, I *know* how rude we can be." 

I smiled. "Not you." 

Nina smiled, that same slow twitch of her lips that made me want to run my thumb across the perfect bow, feel the softness of that mouth against my skin... I shook myself. 

"My grandmother was very strict about manners," she continued, and I focused on her voice, hoping it would let me calm myself. As Ray would put it, fat chance. I found it as intoxicating as the rest of her and I wondered if this was a sign that I had been too long without...that. It was entirely possible; I *was* human after all. 

Before I knew it, an hour and a plate of pasta each had passed. We had talked about a number of things, from Inuit culture (Ray would undoubtedly say that was no surprise, given my familiarity with the subject) to the opera, then Nina glanced at the clock on the wall behind me and her eyes widened. "Oh, fuck!" she gasped, surprising me. She hadn't seemed the type to swear. She looked back at me and blushed; apparently I was right. "I'm late," she explained. 

I frowned and apologized as she hurriedly popped one last piece of pasta into her mouth and swallowed. I watched her with a faint smile, not even aware of the expression, thinking how lady-like she was as she dabbed at her mouth with her napkin and told me that there was nothing to apologize for. "I had fun," she said, and I stood and went to pull back her chair as she grabbed her purse. She stood and turned her head toward me with a brilliant smile as I held up her coat for her to put on. She chuckled. "You are just too cute," she said, and I felt myself freeze in place as our eyes met. 

After a long moment, she stepped away from me and buttoned her coat. "Well," she said, blushing. 

I smiled slightly and nodded. "Well," I repeated. Then I cleared my throat and made a far safer jump than the one I wanted, which would have been to kiss her, taste her as deeply as I could, hold her tight against me. "Thank you again for the cocoa." 

Nina smiled and tossed her hair over her shoulder, adjusting her purse-strap. "It was my pleasure." Her eyes met mine again and she added softly, "Maybe we could do this again tomorrow?" 

I nodded slowly, barely believing I was doing it. "I would like that." 

*** 

He said it and I couldn't believe it. 

Hell, I couldn't even *breathe*. 

I forced myself to concentrate enough to get to the door and open it, knowing I was grinning like an idiot and not caring in the least. ::"I would like that.":: The words repeated over and over in my head as I walked back to the office. And the way he had said it - soft, his eyes shining just as soft... 

It had been the furthest thing from my mind when I crossed the street at 2:58 PM, or when I'd bought the hot chocolate, but I'd managed to make him like me. I felt like a teenager, thinking that, not a twenty- seven-year-old architect, but I couldn't help it. He *liked* me! Those amazing blue eyes were smiling at *me*, telling me he wanted to see me again. And tomorrow he would... I was suddenly, incredibly happy, more than I'd been in a long time. The winter wind suddenly didn't seem all that cold at all. 

* * *

###  Part Two: Ray, Dief, and Elaine

I'm tellin' you, I don't know how he does it. Not only do women fall  
over him, but this time, when he decides to actually catch one of them,  
who does he pick? A woman who looks *just* like *Victoria*!! Curly brown  
hair, slim, big thick-lashed eyes, delicate nose, gorgeous mouth...I  
said I didn't *like* Victoria, I never said she wasn't a pretty lady.  
No, good ole Victoria was gorgeous - it was her heart that was all shriveled  
and ugly. Okay, I admit, I'm not being fair - to Nina, that is. I mean,  
she seems like a genuinely nice gal...leave it to Benny to find her.

And how does he tell me about her? He doesn't! He just has this far-off look on his face when I pick him up and gives monosyllabic answers to anything I say. And when I finally get fed up and ask him what's eating him, he just smiles this dreamy little smile and says, "Nothing, Ray. I'm fine." Which for Benny could mean he's pissed or he's ecstatic. This time I was betting on ecstatic, so, *as a joke*, I say, "So, what's her name?" And Benny, like he doesn't even realize he's said it, goes, "Nina." 

I almost crashed the Riv, I was so surprised. "Whoa, hold up a second! You met somebody?!" Benny gives me this little embarrassed 

look, kinda out of the corner of his eye, and shifts in his seat. I couldn't help myself; I started grinning. "Benny, you sly dog! I thought you weren't supposed to speak to anyone while you're on sentry duty!" 

"I'm not, Ray," he says. "And I didn't. She came up to me when my shift was over and gave me a cup of hot chocolate." 

This last part he says with this goofy little smile and I realize that whoever this chick (oh, give me a break, Elaine! I *know* it's not PC - are you gonna let me finish this story or not?) is, Benny's already halfway to being head-over-heels for her. But that's Benny, you know? He doesn't do anything by half-measures. So I'm sitting there, trying to drive and interrogate him on this new love-of-his-life and wondering how the hell the guy can fall in love so fast. And if she feels the same way and if she's gonna treat him right. Well, I know the answer now, but I didn't then. And it didn't help that Benny keeps getting that same little goofy smile for the rest of the day. And then tells me he's having lunch with her again tomorrow. I mean, he doesn't even know her last name! Not that this would bother Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP - no, of course not! This is the man who doesn't have a lock on his apartment door! 

"So you don't even know what she does for a living?" 

Benny just gives me this look, like *What does that have to do with anything?*, and says, "No, Ray, I don't. But she seems like a very nice woman." Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. 

And then I stop by the Consulate early a few days later and actually meet her and notice a) who she looks like, and b) that she has the nicest smile I've ever seen. Talk about conflicting impressions! I mean, Victoria had a *pretty* smile, but it was never a *nice* one. And I'm not even sure who I'm looking for, until this brown-haired lady comes waltzing across the street from the deli, stops in front of Benny exactly when his shift ends, and hands him a Styrofoam cup. And Benny, with that little smile (yeah, the goofy one), looks down at her and says, "Thank you kindly, Nina." 

At which point I'm trying to decide whether to groan or smile, cause from the look she's givin' him, she's got it as bad as he does. So Benny motions me over and introduces us, and Nina turns that smile of hers on me, and I can practically *feel* the cold air going away. Winter? Where is it winter? She's smiling and laughing when I say how you could set a watch by Benny, and goes, "I already do!" And Benny...well, Benny's just looking at her, the way I remember looking at Angie, and Irene, ya know? Yeah, that look. I think half the women in the city would have been ready to kill Nina if they'd seen it... 

Oh god. Ooooh, man...I can't wait to see Frannie's face when she meets her! 

*** 

I meet her when Ray brings me with him to the Consulate. I don't know who she is at first, except that she looks like the bitch who almost killed him. But she projects a completely different attitude, so I wait to see what she does. She crosses the street, and now I can smell hot chocolate and a faint perfume on her. I'm instantly interested, especially since it's the same scent as I've picked up on Benton recently. So this is the female he's been having lunch with during the day and dreaming about at night. 

She hands the cocoa to Benton with a smile as he steps out of position, right on time. They say hello and she smiles at Ray as well. Then Benton introduces us and she chuckles about Diefenbaker not being a very Inuit name (tell me about it), then she kneels to say hello - *kneels*, not bends over as most humans do. Doesn't even try to scratch my head! Just offers her hand for me to sniff, waiting for my approval. That's the first mark in her favor; the second is the fact that now I can smell donuts too, and it's coming from the bag in her hand. Anyone who likes donuts can't be all bad. Then Benton tells her what I'm probably reacting to when I start wagging my tail in greeting and Nina laughs and looks me right in the eyes and says, "Since when are donuts on a wolf's food chain?" 

Since the wolf moved to Chicago, I tell her, and she laughs again and shakes her head at me. "That's no excuse! You've been hanging around cops too much," she says, with a look at Ray. 

Did she actually understand me or..? Yes, she did! And she's *teasing* me?! Oooh, I like this one, Benton, I really do! She opens the bag and gives Benton a look I recognize, then takes out a powdered sugar donut and offers it to me. Did I say 'like'? I meant I *love* this one, Benton!! 

She chuckles as I (pardon the expression) wolf down the donut, tells me next time she's going to bring a roast-beef sandwich, and hands the bag to Ray with a smile. I look up in time to see the shocked look Ray gives her, and watch it change to a genuine smile as he opens the bag. I can smell the chocolate-covered donut with sprinkles and the lightly frosted roll in there, and I know they're his favorites. Benton must have mentioned them. I know Ray's wondering if she's trying to impress him, but I think she's just being nice. "In case you missed breakfast again," she says, and I believe her. So does Ray, I guess. 

Benton is just smiling, and she turns back to him with an expression just like his. I know that look and I'm very happy to see it being directed at this one. If he was a wolf, he'd be nuzzling her and growling at every other male who looked at her. And she'd be baring her teeth at every female who did the same. Hopefully at one particular female more than any other, and oooh, but I wish that would happen! I would really like to see her tear that one's throat out. And not just because that one hurt me and this one feeds me...She makes him smile. That's what's best. He doesn't smile enough; he's been unhappy ever since that other one left, which just goes to prove humans aren't as clever as they think. I mean, why would he miss *her*?! If *this* one left, I'd understand it...Hell, *I'd* miss her! 

Well, it's about time, that's all I have to say. Of course, it's only been a few days, so far, but I know what's coming. It's in the air so strong between them I'm surprised *Ray* doesn't smell it. Of course, knowing humans in general and Benton in particular, it'll take a while - they have that whole complicated courtship dance first. 

I swear, sometimes humans can be so silly... 

*** 

So Fraser's seeing someone. It's funny, I thought it would bother me more than this. Maybe it's because I saw what Victoria put him through...he's had this look in his eyes for months now, this kind of haunted look. Like he can't quite get past the pain no matter how hard he tries. Or any of the rest of us try. It hurt to see that look in his eyes. And now that look is gone. I noticed it even before Ray told me the story; I knew as soon as I saw him that he'd met someone and that he was really, truly happy for the first time in months. I think I could have kissed Nina right then. 

I feel even more strongly now that they've been seeing each other for a few days. Just a few days and there's...well, a bounce to his step that wasn't there before, silly as it sounds. I mean, Fraser's always cheerful, but now...now he's *happy*. And I know him well enough to know it's not because he got laid. Not that that won't happen, eventually, somewhere down the line, even if it makes me smile a little and blush, thinking about it. I mean, he's a handsome guy and I think he proved with Victoria that he isn't quite as innocent in *that* way as some people would have guessed... 

I hope she treats him well. Not that I have any doubts - I mean, Ray's said that she's obviously as infatuated with Fraser as Fraser is with her. And coming from Ray, that's a hell of an observation. Plus *he* likes her, which given her resemblance to Victoria and his feelings about *her*, is even more of a revelation about Nina's character. It was almost two weeks before I actually met her, and I'd been hearing stories from Ray *and* Fraser, and as soon as she walked in I knew they were all true. 

Frannie was there too, which worried me, since there was no way she could miss this beautiful woman sweeping into the precinct with snow glistening on her hair, looking like a model, even if she didn't ask for Fraser. With a big smile on her face. I introduced myself and she said Fraser had talked about me, which of course made me smile, and then I kind of nervously punched in the number for Ray's desk, keeping an eye on Frannie, and hoping I wouldn't have to pull my gun. I watched Frannie slowly come up to Nina with this kind of predatory look in her eyes, and held my breath. Then Nina turned around, flashed her a big smile, and said, "You must be Francesca!" 

Frannie just automatically smiled back. When she realized she'd done that, she pressed her lips together and said, a little sourly, "Yeah. And you must be Fraser's new girlfriend." 

Nina just gave her a softer version of that smile and blushed a little. "I guess so," she said. 

Frannie stared at her for a long time. I mean, you could see from the look in Nina's eyes that she really, *really*, liked Fraser. Then Frannie just gave a little sigh and said, "Yeah, well, you treat him right or you'll have me to deal with." 

Nina smiled at her, chuckling, and said, "You, and Ray, and Diefenbaker, and probably half the populations of Chicago and the Northwest Territories." Then her expression changed a little and she said, to both of us, "I'd never hurt him." 

Frannie studied her face and then smiled. "Good," she said, and launched into compliments on Nina's coat and earrings. For five minutes. That was how long it took for Ray and Fraser to get to the reception area. And then...well, if Nina's affection wasn't obvious to 

Frannie, *Fraser's* was. He saw Nina and his whole face lit up. I had thought he was handsome before, but now he was ... beyond description. Love will do that to you, and the same thing happened to Nina. She went from being a beautiful young woman to being a faery- tale princess. You could feel the heat between them and they didn't even kiss! They just said hello, giving each other these really sweet smiles that just made my heart fill up. No, she's nothing *at all* like Victoria...and I'm happy he found her. 

* * *

###  Part Three: Benton and Nina

The first time I made love to her, the world changed.

We'd gone to see a friend of hers perform at a nightclub, and, listening to a husky contralto sing love-songs, my hand found hers and I succumbed to desire and stroked my fingers along the sensitive skin of her palm and the inside of her wrist. I could feel her pulse speed up as I did it, feel her shiver delicately as I moved my hand after a long while to the nape of her neck. I found out she was incredibly sensitive there and watched with an amused, and excited, smile as her eyes fluttered closed for a moment and she bit her lower lip. Then she turned her head slightly towards me and murmured, "If you don't stop that I won't be responsible for the consequences." 

I smiled and whispered in her ear, "No, I will." 

I traced a pattern on her skin and her hand clenched on my thigh. To have her touch me was so exciting that I had to stop myself from grabbing her out of her chair and taking her someplace dark and private. One thing Victoria had taught me was the value of drawing things out. I didn't realize until that moment, when I forced myself to stay still, to continue to draw delicate sworls on her so-sensitive skin, that I was intending to seduce her. The idea shocked me and thrilled me. I had never thought of myself as the type of man to plan out a woman's seduction, but as I let my fingers trail across her shoulder, I realized that we had been heading for this point for a long time. And we were both enjoying and wanting it. 

I kept my gaze fixed on the singer, not wanting to appear quite that rude. She *was* very good, as was evidenced by the dramatic increase in our attentions to one another. For three weeks we had talked and laughed, had dinner and watched movies, exchanged stories about our pasts. We had comforted each other over the loss of loved ones, or betrayals that had torn our hearts apart. We had entwined ourselves about each other's souls, but we had never taken the final step, beyond a good night kiss. Those few kisses had been intoxicating on their own, but we had both restrained ourselves, somehow subconsciously arranging for those nights to be before work. Avoiding temptation. But not now. Now, we had taken that step, made that decision, silently, and in unison. And it felt right. 

As I listened to the singer, I continued to caress her neck, and found her hand tracing echoes of those patterns on my thigh. I changed the pattern, to be sure, and she did as well, smiling slightly as I glanced at her. "You touch me, I touch you," she whispered. It was a challenge and an invitation...I took it. 

*** 

I was slowly going out of my mind. His fingertips brushed my skin, leaving the nerve-endings on fire, as if his touch were electric. It astonished me that he was actually touching me that way...seducing me. He'd always been so proper, even when both our knees were buckling from a 'good-night' kiss. He'd wanted to wait, even if he hadn't said it aloud, and I had agreed. But now...now I wanted him so badly it physically hurt. I could feel myself getting more and more aroused and returned the favor. 

I ran my hand lightly across his thigh, copying the patterns he was tracing on my neck and shoulder, and surprised myself by challenging him to do something more daring. *He* surprised me by accepting. His hand dropped slowly to my back, where the dress was scooped to show skin, then curved around to my side. If it hadn't felt so incredible, and surprised me so much, I would have giggled at the slight tickling. My hand froze on his thigh. He wasn't...was he? 

His hand swept under my arm and smoothed down the side of my breast. I shivered and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Benton leaned in to breathe into my ear, "I touch you..." 

My heart jumped up another few beats a minute and I nodded slowly. Part of me was amazed that we were doing this in what was pretty much a public place, the rest of me didn't care. The backs of the chairs were high enough to hide us from the people behind us, and the table hid my caresses from anyone to our sides. So I trailed my hand further up his thigh, hearing his breath catch as I neared my goal. I went even slower then, teasing him as he stroked my breast with the backs of his fingers, finally reaching my destination to be greeted by a hard bulge. I was flattered to say the least. 

I ran my hand across his crotch, stroking as slowly as he did, and smiled as a tiny groan escaped him. His hand went down my side and then slid over my thigh. My breath caught in anticipation, then released in a soft whimper as his fingers pressed down lightly on my pelvic bone and then went lower. I echoed his motion automatically, pressed a little harder and felt his muscles tense. His fingers pressed hard against where layers of cloth covered my clit, moving down to run over the part of me that was screaming for him. My inner muscles clenched in response and I cupped him in my hand and rubbed my thumb in a slow circle. If this went on much longer, we'd be running for a back- room... 

Benton had the same thought; his hand left me to suddenly grab my wrist. I looked at him, smiling at the fevered glitter of his eyes, and raised my eyebrows in question. He glanced at my friend, who was finishing a song, and I smiled. "I think she'll understand," I murmured as the crowd started applauding. "After all, it's her own fault - she's too good at those torch-songs." 

Benton laughed and stood, a bit uneasily, and pulled my chair back for me. I gave Diane a flicker of a smile and a half-shrug, mouthing the words 'Your fault - you're too good.' She laughed softly, and leaned down to speak to the pianist. As we made our way to the door of the club, the first bar of "At Last" started up. Benton and I looked at each other and grinned. 

*** 

We decided to go to her apartment simply because it was closer. We walked there, but kept our hands entwined, the contact keeping the cold from taking any kind of edge off our desire. Not that we should have worried. As soon as the elevator doors closed in the lobby, I kissed her, and all sense of propriety nearly vanished. I pulled her close against me, every line of her body amazingly clear even through the layers of cloth between us, and I suddenly, very distinctly, did not want *any* cloth between us. I wanted to feel her skin under my fingers, *needed* to feel her. 

My hands followed the thought without my conscious mind's permission, pushing up her coat and dress, cupping her thighs and bottom. Stroking, grabbing, while I tasted her, my mouth on her throat, down to the triangle of skin revealed as I opened the top of her coat. I ran my tongue along the line of her collarbone, nipping at the sensitive skin at the side of her neck, holding her close, wanting her, wanting her to feel how much I wanted her. 

She let out a little moan, her hands working at the buttons of my coat, pushing the cloth away from my neck so that she could taste me as well. The feel of her kissing me like that, the feel of her tongue sliding against my skin, excited me so much that I was tempted to hit the emergency stop button and take her right there in the elevator. I dragged my mouth away from her and pulled away, caught her face in my hands and kissed her, thrusting my tongue into her mouth, showing her what I desperately wanted to do with my body. 

She clung to me and responded just as fiercely, her hands sliding down my back to clench my buttocks, pulling me towards her as she pushed her hips forward, grinding against me. Exquisite torture, knowing I had to wait until we got to her apartment. Pulling apart as the elevator doors opened lest we shock a neighbor...then grabbing one another again when the hallway showed itself to be clear. Unable to resist, I shoved her up against the wall by her apartment door, my hands pulling at the buttons of her coat, then sliding up the fabric of her dress to her breasts, kneading them as I kissed her, wanting to know the taste of them. 

Somehow she got the keys from her purse and I let her go long enough for her to turn and undo the lock. I waited while she flipped on the lights, and found myself pushed up against the door as I closed it. Her hands caught mine and pressed my arms back against the door as she kissed me, then moved her mouth down to my collar, biting just on the verge of real pain. Then she released me, her hands dropping to undo the rest of the buttons on my coat, then to my belt-buckle when that was accomplished. She pulled me up against her as she slipped the leather free, kissing me, and I pushed her coat down her shoulders, moving her backwards down the hall. 

It occurred to me that I'd never been inside her home before, having always said good-bye at the lobby. Avoiding temptation. I'd often wondered what it looked like; now I didn't even spare it a glance, except to orient myself as we headed further inside. We knocked over a lamp and set a few paintings askew as she guided us towards the bedroom, shedding our clothes along the way, laughing as we nearly tripped over them on occasion. Until finally we were in her bedroom, and I saw her beauty in full for the first time. I paused and looked down at her, admiring, not feeling awkward in the least as she surveyed me in the same slow way. 

"You're so beautiful," she whispered, and I smiled, my breath catching and my desire rising sharply as she reached out and ran her hands slowly across my chest. I don't think I've ever reacted so strongly to a woman's touch, even with Victoria. It was like she was made of fire, her fingers leaving trails of tingling heat as they moved across my skin. I watched her come closer to me, frozen in place as she bent her head forward and her mouth followed the path of her hands, a brand on my flesh, burning not nearly hot enough. 

I whispered her name and wrapped a hand in the silken mass of her hair, cradling her head as her mouth moved to a nipple, consuming it, sending need arrowing straight into my groin. God, how I wanted her! And yet I couldn't move, too caught up in the web of sensation her gentle touches were creating. Not seducing, no. Admiring, exploring, worshipping...loving. That more than anything made my need for her unbearable, painful. "Nina," I said again, but this time I was pleading. 

She lifted her head and my hand cupped the back of her head as she tilted it back to look up at me. Small, so small she was, her head just passing my shoulder. And yet she was in complete control at that moment. If she had denied me then, I think I would have died. Instead she smiled and lifted her hand to stroke my cheek, curving it behind my head as I did hers, her fingers caressing the nape of my neck as she pulled my head towards hers. She murmured my name and the spell broke. 

*** 

I looked up at him, running my fingers through that wonderful thick hair, cropped so short in back, and pulled him down to me. "Benton," I said softly, kissing him, and his arms wrapped around me almost roughly. Before I knew it, he had picked me up and in two long strides had reached the bed and laid me down on it, gently. So gentle, so beautiful, my Benton. It hit me then that he *was* 'my Benton'. He was going to make love to me, and I to him, together... Then his mouth touched my skin and I could barely breathe, let alone think. 

Sweet and soft, but rough at the same time, demanding, and I answered in the only way I could. My back arched and I pressed up into his mouth, burning up from his touch, desperately wanting more. He lavished the same attention on my breasts as I had given his nipples, licking and nipping, tugging gently with his teeth, bringing broken moans from me at every new touch. 

One of his hands went behind me to cup my bottom, sliding down to pull my thigh up against his side, opening me to him, and his other hand slid between us. I could feel him against me, hard, so hard, and I wanted to bring him home, into me, where he belonged. His fingers found my core, and I felt him smile as he felt how wet I was, then he drew that wetness up, sliding easily against my clit. I let out a low cry, arching my hips up, wanting more, wanting him, so much it hurt. I whimpered his name as his fingers stroked hard and slow against me, his other hand on my thigh as I wrapped my leg over his hips. 

I put my hands on his shoulders, ran them down his back and then up again, digging my nails in lightly as I did. His rhythm increased, and suddenly a finger, then two, slid into me and I gasped. He felt so good, and I wanted more. I needed *more*... "Benton, please!" 

He lifted his head from my breasts and smiled down at me. "Tell me what you want," he whispered. 

His voice was alive, sliding over my body as surely as his hands had, but going deeper, touching my soul. I shuddered and my eyes locked with his. "I want you inside me," I whispered back, unable to make my voice any louder than that. 

"I am inside you," he answered, smiling, and pushed his fingers hard into me to prove it. 

I moaned and arched up into him, then slid one hand down his side, to where I could feel him throbbing against me. "No," I said, and wrapped my hand around him, "you're not." I smiled up at him and stroked, pressing hard enough to bring a sharp moan from him. He bit off the sound and lowered his head to kiss me; I stroked him again, and again, setting up a rhythm almost steady enough, but not quite. Just like he was doing with me. 

After a moment, his breath was coming in pants, echoing my own as his fingers matched my hand's rhythm. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was close, very close, but I wanted him inside me when I came. I wanted to feel him, clench around him, have him pound into me as he climaxed... 

Oh *damn*! 

"Wait, wait!" I gasped. He raised his head to frown at me, his breathing harsh, then understood and nodded, letting me go so that I could run into the bathroom. I came back with the whole box. "No more side trips," I told him with a chuckle, and he smiled. 

I tore open the packet and pushed him onto his back on the bed. He leaned on his elbows to watch me as I laid soft kisses down his belly until I reached the nest of soft curls at his base. I stroked him gently, laying an open-mouthed kiss on the tip, my tongue darting out to taste the moisture there. His breath caught in a groan and I looked at him. His eyes were bluer than I had ever seen them, shining from wanting me, making my heart feel like it was about to burst. 

I rolled the condom over him slowly, delighting in the fevered gleam of his gaze as he watched me, his mouth slightly parted. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and desire crashed into me as if his hand had never left me. "Benton," I whispered, sliding back up his body until I could kiss him. "Now...please..." 

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, captured my mouth roughly as he turned us so that his weight settled on top of me....then into me.... 

*** 

So hot and tight. Welcoming me, inviting me, driving me further as she clenched around me. 

Her name was on my lips, and I kissed her as deeply as I could, trying to rival my body. Her mouth was as sweet as her soul, her tongue dancing against mine, her voice whispering my name as I pulled away for a bit to kiss her shoulder. 

*** 

So hard, so slow and sweet and gentle...Begging him, loving him, needing him... 

*** 

::Yesss... ::Ooh god....dear god...:: 

*** 

::More. ::Harder. ::Please...:: 

*** 

Moving inside her, held safe in her arms, brought home from exile with every thrust deep inside her. 

*** 

Filling me and then leaving me empty... 

*** 

Heaven, Valhalla, promises never to be broken... 

*** 

::Oooh god, god, Benton, I love you...:: 

*** 

::My love, my Nina...:: 

*** 

::Yes...harder, yes...*please*...oh please, yes!!:: 

*** 

::Oh god...oh yes...yes, *god* yes!!!:: 

*** 

Again, and again, until we both cried out, our climaxes spilling over on top of each other... 

*** 

Shaking us loose from reality until we lay shaking in each other's arms, drifting back slowly to the sound of our heartbeats, sounding like one heart... 

*** 

And maybe... 

*** 

Maybe... 

*** 

They were. 

* * *

###  Part Four: Benton, Nina, and "guests"

"I don't think I've ever seen a more glorious sunrise. Well, we didn't  
see the actual sun, of course, given that we were in an apartment building,  
but the windows *did* face east, so -"

Sigh. "Son." 

"Right. Sorry, Dad. The point is, it has been a very long time since I've woken up with a woman in my arms with whom I am - I'm certain of it - completely in love, and who loved me in return. And whom I didn't have to worry about turning in to the police." 

Say what? 

"That was a joke, Dad." 

Oh. "Of course it was, son. I knew that." Really, I did. "Speaking of that, though..." 

"Yes?" 

"Well, you *have* noticed the resemblance?" 

This time *he* sighs. "Of course, Dad. To be perfectly honest it was one of the first things I noticed, but that's not why I'm in love with her - or why I was interested in her in the first place. If anything, it should have made me run." 

"From her or to her?" 

"*Dad!*" 

"It's just that the last time you saw Victoria, Ray had to shoot you to keep you from going with her." 

"Ray shot me *by accident,* Dad. And that was almost a year ago." 

I stay silent. 

"I'm over her, Dad! And she has nothing to do with why I'm in love with Nina. She is nothing like Victoria!" 

Sigh. 

"I can't believe you're doing this! I'm truly happy for the first time in I don't *know* how long and you're trying to make me doubt it!" 

"I can't make you feel anything you don't *already* feel, Ben." 

Blue eyes flash, just like his mother's. "So you're asking if I have doubts? All right, I admit it: I have doubts! But they're small ones and most of them disappeared last night!" A little sigh; he looks so young when he does that, so very young... "I love her, Dad. Whether I was first attracted to her because she looked like Victoria has nothing to do with that. She is," he struggles to find the right words; he never was eloquent when it came to this kind of thing, "warm, and giving, and intelligent. She makes me laugh, makes me feel like I'm a child again - innocent and free and...happy, Dad." Quietly, now. "She makes me happy. I didn't think I could ever find that, not after... I would hope and dream, but I never really expected it to happen. But it has. With her, because of her." 

His eyes lighten a bit and he smiles, that little half-smile I've only seen a few times in my life - and death. "When I woke up today," he continues, "the first thing I was warm...and content...and for a second I wasn't even aware of why. And then she shifted a little in my arms, and I looked down at her...and..." He looks at me, with a mixture of surprise and delight and triumph. "And I knew it was Nina! Not for one moment did I think it was Victoria, not for even a split second, half- awake. I knew it was *her*. The smell of her - her shampoo, her perfume, her skin - and the feel of her in my arms. And it felt...right, Dad. It felt right." 

He smiles, caught up in memory. "I touched her hair, and ran my hand down her shoulder and arm...her skin is so smooth... and I touched her hand, curled my fingers between hers...and she woke up and looked at me with those beautiful, deep, brown eyes...and then she smiled and lifted her face towards me to kiss me, and -" 

Okay, that's enough! I'm dead, but I'm still his father for heaven's sake!! "That's nice, son, glad you had a good morning." I start getting ready to leave and he blinks and looks at me as if he'd forgotten I was there. Huh. No respect. "I'm, ah -" Damn, but I'm as bad at this as he is. "I'm happy for you, Benton. I'm very...happy for you...for both of you." 

He smiles, his eyes soft and glowing; just like his mother's. He really is happy. "Thank you, Dad. I appreciate that." I nod and smile. And then I'm gone. I have a lunch date with Nina's grandmother at two ... Oh my god ... I have in-laws again. 

*** 

I can't believe I have in-laws again. I mean, Frank's family was nice enough but I thought when I died I wouldn't have to deal with them unless I really wanted to and the living ones aren't the type to see spirits, so why expend the energy? and the dead ones are...well, they have no sense of obligation. Go flitting off to the hereafter and their next lives and leave their kin all by their lonesome. No sense of family. I was born and raised in a big family, raised one of my own, and I'm not leaving my grandbabies without some guidance. Not that they ever listen... 

"So does he wear red undies?" 

"*Grandma!!*" She looks so cute when she's indignant. "First off, that's not any kind of question to be asking me and second, do you think for once you could appear in *front* of me?!" 

"That wouldn't be any fun," I answer, and survey the bed critically. "Didn't I teach you to make your bed? I'm turning over in my grave." 

She lets out an explosive sigh. Lord, but this is so much fun! "Grandma," she says sweetly, "you don't *have* a grave. You were cremated and your ashes spread over the lake. If you're doing anything, it's agitating the fish." 

I raise an eyebrow. "Have some respect - I raised you." 

She sighs and tosses her hair out of her face. "I know. I'm sorry, Grandma. but - well, I don't like you talking about him like that." 

I smile. It's so sweet I could cry; my grandbaby's all grown up, defending her man... "I'm sorry, *cara*. You really do love him, don't you?" 

She gives me that little smile that always made my heart light up. "Yes. Yes, I really do." She sighs and sits on the bed, looking all fresh and a still a little rumpled in her robe. "He's - he's wonderful, and loving, and generous, and...I didn't think someone like him existed. To have gone through what he has, and still be so ... sweet, and innocent, and ..." She smiles a little, looking up at me, and I sit by her on the bed. "It scares me sometimes, to tell you the truth. I mean, there aren't supposed to be men like him in the world. A real-life knight in shining uniform. But there are, and this one's mine. And I'm happier than I've ever been. Sometimes I can't believe it's real. Even now, after last night..." 

I smile a little slyly; it's the best way to get her off *that* train of thought. "So how was he?" 

"Grandma!" 

She blushes and I realize a) it must have been good and b) do I really want to know? I mean, I'm dead, who am I gonna fool around with? Though that Vecchio guy does keep making eyes at me...naah. 

"It was...wonderful," she says finally, shyly. "Just wonderful." She shivers a little and I sigh. My grandbaby is definitely grown up now...and in love. "And when I woke up...he was stroking my arm, real light, you know? And then he put his hand in mine, and then I looked up at him and kissed him and...and then we made love again..." She sighs and looks at me, smiling. She's got her Daddy's eyes, all wide and brown and sincere. "I love him so much, Grandma." 

I smile and nod, wanting so much to squeeze her hand. "I know," I tell her. "And he loves you too." 

A little frown at that. "How do you...Grandma, you weren't...!!" 

"No, I wasn't!" Then. "But I have seen the way he looks at you, *cara*. He loves you too." She smiles and I stand up. "Well, I'd better be going. Don't want your Mountie thinking you're talking to yourself." 

"And since when have you worried about someone thinking that?" 

"Since the someone was tall, dark and handsome with big blue eyes. You take good care of him, *cara*." 

"I will, Grandma." 

"Good, or his wolf might eat you." 

"Grandma!" 

I disappear halfway into the word. God, I love this! 

*** 

I just barely resisted the urge to scream. Barely. Wouldn't do to have Benton think I'm insane. I sighed and came out of the bedroom to see our clothes off the floor and neatly piled on the sofa. And standing there in the middle of my living room, still gloriously bare-chested, was Benton. My Benton. 

"Thank you, Dad," I hear him say. "I appreciate that." 

I freeze halfway into the room, not sure whether to be worried or relieved. I mean hell, I talk to my Grandmother and she's been dead for eight years, why shouldn't Ben talk to his father, who's been dead for three? I must have made some sound, because Benton turned to me with a startled, and a bit sheepish, look on his face. Hurriedly, I say, "It's okay, I understand." 

He blinked and frowned. "You do?" 

I nodded. "I get, ah, guests, every once in a while too. It's nice, isn't it? To be able to talk to them." 

He smiled slowly. "When they don't have advice." 

I winced dramatically and then laughed. "Eek, no!" 

He laughed also and then came forward, wrapping strong arms around my waist and leaning down to kiss me softly. Amazing how so chaste a kiss could make my knees weak. He pulled away after a long moment and gazed down at me; I felt like I was drowning happily in his eyes. "You are an amazing woman," he murmured, and then kissed me again. 

I could feel him growing, hardening, against me and my breath caught as his hands ran up my back to the collar of my robe and pushed the fabric down. His mouth trailed kisses down my neck to my shoulders and I sighed a "Yes" into his ear as his hands slid my robe down further. Tongue and teeth sent electric shivers through me and I stood, trembling, while the robe slid down to pool at my feet and that wonderful mouth found its way to my breasts. I ran my fingers across his shoulders, marveling as always at their breadth and strength, and that he could be so incredibly gentle when those muscles slid smoothly under my hands. But he was, as he lowered me slowly to the floor. He stripped off his pants and boxers, then knelt, pulling the throw-blanket from the couch to make a cushion for me as he continued his caresses. 

The sunlight made his pale skin glow golden, prism-like patterns shifting from the sun-catchers I had hung up. I watched them, entranced by the play of light and color on his back and the blue-black shadows of his hair as he moved down the length of my body. I arched up as he reached my thighs, anticipating that warm, hot touch. He chuckled and looked up at me, his eyes sparkling. "Patience, Nina," he whispered, and lowered his head. 

His tongue darted out, tickling as it slid into and around my belly- button, and I laughed and tugged playfully at his hair. "Benton!" I started to admonish him, then froze as teeth nipped at where his tongue had been. The laugh turned into a moan, electricity shooting through me. I've been tickled, and kissed and even nipped, but with him it was...different. His hands slid down my hips and around to my buttocks, slow, soft, while his mouth continued at my belly. "Benton..." I whispered, at a loss for anything else to say, only thinking that this was the most sensual, incredible feeling I'd ever had. I remembered thinking that last night; things just kept getting better with him. 

Then he slid back up and whispered in my ear, "Turn over." 

The words seemed to arrow straight into my groin; inner muscles clenched suddenly and I gasped as I complied. I was trembling, knowing what was coming and wanting it so badly I thought I would die if he didn't hurry. But he didn't. He kissed his way down my back, his tongue flicking out to trace slow, delicate patterns, until I thought I'd go crazy. It suddenly occurred to me that the box of condoms was in the bedroom and I groaned in frustration. I didn't want him to stop for even that long. I said his name and he caught the note in it and laughed. 

I turned my head to frown at him and saw him reaching for his pants to withdraw his wallet. I stared as he took a packet out of the billfold. "Always be prepared," he said with a smile. 

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that standard issue for Mounties?" 

His eyes twinkled and for once he didn't take me too seriously. "Only," he said softly, and I realized that *he*, at least, *was* serious, "when they're seeing a beautiful woman they've dreamed of making love to since the first day they met." 

I stared at him and then smiled, feeling tears prick at my eyes. "Benton," I whispered, and sat up. I sat back on my heels and reached for him, pulling his head to me for a deep kiss. When I finally pulled away, I let my hand drop to his thigh, sliding slowly across his bare skin. I felt him harden even more against my hips, his eyes heavy-lidded from the kiss and my touch. "Then make love to me, Ben. Now. Please." 

He smiled and curved his arms around my waist, leaning forward so that I was pushed back down. His hands slid to my hips and then thighs, pushing my legs further apart. It felt like forever as I listened to the packet being torn open. I imagined the condom sliding onto him and shuddered. I wanted him inside me so badly... Then his hands were back on my hips, pulling me back...onto him... I moaned and felt myself invaded, again, and again. Slowly speeding up, coming into me faster, harder, his breath warm in my ear as he curved his body over mine. He said my name and I cried out as his body slammed into me. Over, and over, and over, notching the tension tighter and tighter, but not giving me release. And then suddenly the hand that had cupped my breast as he moved slid down, down between my legs, touching me where we were joined. His thumb slid against my clit, hard, fast, and I almost screamed at the intensity of it. A finger joined it, sliding hot, and hard, while he thrust... 

Harder... 

Faster... 

More... 

*Yes*..... 

Until I felt like I was going to split into two, each stroke seeming to go deeper, the feeling more and more intense...and I exploded around him, his name tearing out of my in a scream of soul-wrenching ecstasy. I felt him climax, pounding into me as his body pulsed, our souls merging as our bodies had. One arm was still wrapped about my waist and he pulled me with him as he slid out of me and lowered us onto our sides, both of us shaking. His chest heaved against me, his breath cooling the sweat on my neck as he pressed his face into my shoulder. 

He whispered, "Nina...I love you." 

My breath caught and I turned in his arms so I could look at him. I caught his face in my hands and kissed his mouth, his cheeks, and eyes and nose, then back to his mouth. "I love you too, Benton," I told him, my heart soaring. "I love you too." 

Benton smiled slowly, his eyes glowing, and kissed me back. 

It was noon by the time we got around to breakfast. 

Blame it on the Mountie. 

THE END.   
    
    
  


End file.
